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User blog:SophisticatedShark/Bad Battle Suggestions 3 - Ylvis vs God
Sent a few hours designing a logo last night. Typography is a lot harder than it looks. Also on an unrelated note, I probably won't be going onto the chat until I get the disconnection problem resolved. It keeps disconnecting me and when I log back in it kicks me for sockpuppeting. Also I'm not a sock puppet. So without furthur a do, this battle features the Norweigan comedy musician duo, Vegard and Bård Ylvisåker, versus the lord himself, God. BAD BATTLE SUGGESTIONS OF HISTORY YLVIS VS GOOOOODDD BEGIN!!! God It seems that Noah forgot these two beasts on his Arc I gave salvation to the people when the Ages were Dark While these O-Fags lost in Ikea will Never Be Stars Check Michelangelo if you really want a real taste in art I’m a Rap God you Toots , lemme preach you a lesson I give a testament, prepare for divine intervention I'm omnipresent, omnipotent when I roast my opponents Stick to talent shows you hoaxes before I give you a stonin’ I'm perceived with pure power, from Sistine to Morgan Freeman I spit a fiery damnation on these furry-dressing demons You’ve got Youtube fame while I get billions to pray So make like a fox, and tell me what you have to say Ylvis Let's give this divine being a third degree iconoclasm Slow down bro, don't want to cause a religious type of spasm But just like my name, Bård, I spit these poems out amok Cause when this comedy squad rocks this Intolerant god We bring a bloodbath iller than your pitiful Crusades And yet we still have people murder each other in your name Even with "Shall not kill" in the translations of your page There’s Norway you can for today we take the stage Meaningless as Stonehenge, you're an embodiment with sin Pouring floods, banging married women, and killing children Not tryna' sound atheist, but we just wanted to seal that Ylvis doesn't believe that your style's even real God That's enough of you mortals! You still think you can win this? I've got the Church and the bishops that will leave you diminished Cause when I spit it like a scripture, you can say I killed med Ylvis With just a lift of a finger, this measly battle could be finished Who do you think you’re messing with? I’m the Pope’s dopest homes I send you back to Massachusetts and shut down your whole show I one-hit these wonders, I light you up like Man Who knew Adam and Eve would lead to these jibber-jabbing shams Ylvis God damn, that was horrible, you're cracking under Pressure Let’s turn this up battle and put a Ylvisåke in this agressor We attack this old hack who's as dry as his crackers Tie you in a Trucker's Hitch when we Work It on this bastard We’re drop holy hand grenades when we work on the scene From BC to BC , with crazy sleazies on their knees Send you back to Peter’s gates cause since this battle’s done You can call us Holy Rome: we’ve nailed you harder than your son WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!!! '' '' BAD BATTLE SUGGESTIONS OF HISTORY!!! Who Won? God Ylvis Bad Battles Suggestions is a series I created to challenge my creativity and have fun as opposed to doing regular boring rap battles. If you find a suggestion that you truly think is atrocious, screencap it and post it in the comments. Category:Blog posts